Leonard Hofstadter Must Pay
by spikespetslayer
Summary: Begins immediately after Leonard and Sheldon's confrontation at Penny's apartment in episode 3.01 the Electric Can Opener Fluctuation. Penny thinks that Sheldon needs revenge for what happened in the Arctic. Who really wants revenge, though-Sheldon, or Penny? Rated M for sexual situations, adult language and concepts, mentions of dubious consent. Not Leonard-friendly.
1. Chapter 1

_**Warnings: contains dubious consent, B&D, mentions of sexual situations. If any of that offends you, turn back now. If you love Leonard, turn back now!**_

I am not a member of any BDSM community. This is a work of fiction. As far as I know, there is no community that will do the things done in this fic. All mentions of any BDSM activity are done with the greatest respect for practitioners and no aspersions are cast on anyone.

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**major author's note:**

**While I brag that I don't usually write author's notes, I feel that it is fair to say this story requires one.**

**I do not like Leonard. I do not believe that there were enough repercussions for the Arctic fiasco and there should have been more. This is not a nice story. It bears repeating-this is not a nice story. This is-well, I really don't know what this is. Catharsis? Yeah, okay, I'll take that. And now I'm starting to ramble.**

**I've held onto the first four chapters of this on my hard drive for the last two months. I worry about posting it, but most of the people who read my stuff will cheer, I think. The guest who constantly flames? Well, he can't say anything to hurt my feelings, because I don't care about his opinion. I could care less about an anonymous fool who doesn't have the courage to log in and express his opinion, even if it differs from mine. **

**Once again, if you like Leonard, please, don't waste your time because there's nothing good for you here.**

**D.**

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Penny watched Sheldon walk back across the hall, his shoulders slumped and every muscle of his body signaling defeat. She turned to Leonard and asked, "Aren't you going after him?"

His came after her with those small hands that were beginning to give her the wiggins. In fact, the hairy face, the smells that were rolling off him after a sixteen hour flight without showering—everything about him was giving her the wiggins right now. Especially the way that he was treating Sheldon.

How could she kiss a guy who would kiss her like that when he basically screwed his best friend for ninety days in the Arctic Circle?

"No, he'll be fine, really. He's a trooper. It'll be okay."

She put her hand flat on his chest and gave him a good strong shove, forcing him back and away from her. "No, you're right. You go…do what you need to do. Unpack." Her nose wrinkled and she waved her hand underneath it. "Shower. Shave, for God's sake. I will go and talk to Sheldon. Since you don't want to be bothered by it."

She heard him bitching behind her and she thought, _no, Leonard, your chance of catching a break just went into __his__ apartment and curled into a fetal position on the bed. If you'd have been a little more compassionate, you might have caught a break…that was before you showed me you were an asshole._

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She sighed deeply before she knocked on Sheldon's door.

She sat down on the bed, wondering the best way to handle the man-child that curled up into a ball in the center.

Were he a normal guy, she would curl up behind him, josh with him until she had him laughing or at least she knew for certain that he wasn't suicidal, then take him out and get him drunk and set him up with one of her easy girlfriends. That would never work with Sheldon. Sheldon had no appreciable sense of humor, he didn't drink, and he would probably have a stroke if she even brought one of her sleazy girlfriends over. Look at what happened when Christy, the Whore of Omaha, visited—well, Sheldon didn't have a stroke, but he did have small bubbles of spit gather at the corner of his mouth for the three days that Christy and Howard dated.

She spoke to him for about ten minutes, her mind whirring like tires in mud, trying to find a story that might compare with what he was going through when she looked over her shoulder and saw Leonard looking in the door, getting ready to tap his knuckles on the frame. She excused herself, went over to the door, and hissed in his face. "What do you want?"

"I was just wondering if you were about done and we could, um, get back to saying hello?"

"Leonard, go take a shower. You smell like six different time zones and fifteen airports. Tonight it's _not_ going to happen. I'm dealing with your mess; be happy that I'm not dropping the damn thing in your lap. Now scoot." She shut the door in his face and clicked the lock with a little bit more force than was absolutely necessary.

Sheldon raised his head off the bed and looked at her. "Who was that?"

"Leonard." She walked back to the bed, but this time she sat down with her back against the headboard. He looked up at her and she motioned for him to join her, patting the bed next to her. Sighing, he scooted to sit next to her.

"Penny, people aren't allowed in my room."

"Pretend I'm not people, Sheldon. Now, explain to me exactly how this is going to make an impact on your research. Use small words that I can understand, not your normal stuff, or we'll be here all night."

As he spoke, her anger began to surge inside her and she was so glad that she was an actress. There was no way in the world that she could look at Leonard or the others without vomiting, knowing the magnitude of their actions. She thought back to the day they left. She had asked Leonard one favor, one thing, and he did the exact opposite. If he was that willing to throw a friend under the bus—then again, he had thrown them all under the bus, more times than she could count, if she was being honest with herself.

She put a hand up, realizing that they had started whispering. "So let me get this straight. Since they fucked with your results and you sent that email that you now have to retract, everything that you've done since you got your degrees and started _publishing_ could be looked at for errors?"

"Correct, Penny. If I were malicious in nature, I could point fingers and tell the scientific world that they had done this, but that would also bring my leadership skills into question. It would harm my qualifications as a team leader and I might never be asked to head a research team again." He turned to look at her and the misery was written all over his face. "I know that I am particular and exacting, Penny, but I believe that is part of my quest for excellence. I took them as my team because they were my friends and I believed that they would perform their roles to the best of their abilities. I had no idea that they would turn on me like this."

He buried his face in his hands. She suspected that he was crying but didn't want her to see it.

Well, fuck his phobias. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head to her shoulder. She didn't know if it was because of his overwhelming grief, because of his unbelievable betrayal, or something that she knew nothing about, but he wrapped those long arms around her torso and let himself go.

He cried for nearly an hour, clutching her the entire time. By the time the sobs had dwindled to tiny hiccups, they were laying side by side, their legs entangled and his head resting on her breast, his hand cupping her buttock and holding her close to him. He dried his eyes on a tissue, blew his nose, and looked up at her sheepishly.

"I had hoped to hold that in until you had departed."

"You needed that, Sheldon. I'm just glad that you had me here to give you a shoulder to cry on."

He tried to untangle them, but she was having none of it. "It appears you not only lent me your shoulder, but also your breast, your chest, and your hip as well."

"Honey, after what they put you through, I would lend you anything. They screwed you raw, Sheldon."

He couldn't hide the surprise on his face. "Why, Penny, I didn't expect you to understand the magnitude of the situation."

She smoothed the ruffled hair back from his face. "Oh, sweetie, I understand more than you think. Now, the question is, what are we going to do to get back at them?"

He pulled away from Penny and sat up with his back to her, twisting the used Kleenex in his hand. "I don't understand, Penny."

She got up on her knees behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind. With her head on his shoulders and her arms around his neck, she whispered in his ear, "I think that revenge is a dish best served cold, sweetie, isn't that the phrase? However, they fucked with my Moonpie. They don't understand that the first rule of dealing with me is don't fuck with my Moonpie. Leonard is a stupid prick that thinks with his dick, you know? All he wanted was to get back to the lower 48 to stick his dick in me, honey. He didn't care about your experiment, your Nobel Prize, or you—he had one thing and one thing only on his mind. He didn't realize that when he messed with you, he screwed up all his chances to mess around with me."

"Penny, your relationship with Leonard has nothing to do with me."

"_Au contraire_, little grasshopper. It has everything to do with you. If he will fuck over his best friend, he will certainly fuck over some girl that he just wants to stick his cock in. I don't know a lot about the science that you guys do, but I do know about people." She shifted and pulled and he was laying with his back on the bed, with an armful of Penny. She hovered over him, looking down, ticking items off on her fingers.

"He fucked Howard over with Stephanie, remember? Stole her right out from under his eye patch, used and abused her, then dropped her like a hot potato when the relationship moved too fast for him. Elizabeth Plimpton, remember her? Wasn't that a little betrayal as well? He fucked your friend in your apartment the night of her arrival. And then there's me."

"You?"

She looked down at Sheldon and touched his cheek. "Don't tell me that he didn't call dibs, Sheldon—I _heard_ him. You aren't the only one with good hearing around here. I never had a choice, did I?"

"A choice?"

She leaned forward slightly to look him square in the eye. "You were the one that I noticed, not Leonard. You were the one that I spoke to, not Leonard. It was your whiteboard, your curry, your _spot_ that I was drawn to—not Leonard's things, _yours_. Do you really think that I would have picked a short, hairy, myopic little worm like Leonard? When I could have had a tall, handsome, beautiful mind like you?"

Sheldon tried very hard not to squirm with pleasure, but he was failing miserably. He finally gave her a small smile and said, "You would have picked me?"

"Yes, I would have picked you, silly. I like tall men—you saw Kurt. He's no shorty."

"That is true."

She leaned on her elbow and chewed her lip. Sheldon watched her, wondering what kind of mischief she was thinking of now. Her eyes brightened and she gave him a tiny, evil smile.

She started drawing figures on his chest with her nail.

"You know, Sheldon, the one constant in this whole equation is Leonard's preoccupation with sex. All that he thinks about is sexual gratification. Am I correct?"

"You are correct. As are Wolowitz and Koothrappali."

"If that's what they want, then that's what they are going to get. Wanna do an experiment with me, Sheldon?"

He arched an eyebrow in her direction. "Exactly what type of experiment are you proposing?"

She sat up on the bed, crossing her legs and he mirrored her position, facing her. They were knee to knee and nose to nose; the only way that they would be overheard was if the room was bugged and since Sheldon had done a pre-emptive sweep when he had returned home, that was impossible.

"Sheldon, how far would you be willing to go to obtain the well-deserved revenge you need to attain the peace of mind you need?"

"How far will you take this?" He looked skeptical, but open to suggestion and Penny decided to be honest with him.

"Truthfully? I want to break him. _Break him_. He's done nothing but chase me and whine when I didn't come running. Maybe he needs a lesson or two."

"Then I will be with you, Penny. I will go the distance."

"You will…I know that you're not into sex, Sheldon, but if I were to…arrange something like that, you would…you'd let me?"

"If I were not directly involved."

"No, you wouldn't have to do a thing. But you would have to be there. As a witness. I wouldn't want to…but then again, to see that, what I'm thinking of doing to them…it could scar you…"

"I trust _you_, Penny. We've always maintained our friendship well and I believe that you could exact revenge that I would never dream of doing. Yes, I will be your witness to their downfall."

An unholy alliance was created with that one statement and the plan was born.


	2. Chapter 2

**once again, if you like Leonard, turn back now. fair warning.**

**contains sexual situations, adult concepts and actions, dubious consent, and B&D. fair warning.**

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_unsigned guest review: _Leonard is the best! Fuck you! _l__  
_

Guest, can you read? This says NOT LEONARD FRIENDLY. And, no thank you! Who knows what I could catch from a nonny?

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_unsigned guest review 2: Hmmm ... you know that Leonard Hofstadter is a FICTIONAL character,right? You do realuze that such vitriol towards a fictional character comes offf a tad ... hmmm ... what is the word I want to use ... oh, yes! psychotic? I really think someone's mother should have them tested. And take the pills the nice doctor prescribed you to control that pouty Shenny rage. So sorry but supremely happy that canon isn't going your way so you have to resort to psychotic rambling! But, my bad! It's fun to watch you froth! So see you in chapter 2!_

Dear guest 2: Once again-can you read? I said that this was not Leonard friendly. Yes, Leonard is a fictional character, so I believe that I have the same privilege of writing what I want as the Shamys and Lennys do-my account, my privilege. My 'psychotic' Shenny rage is no different from any other fanfic on this site and you are wasting my time AND yours by reading something that you have no interest in. This is called fanfic for a reason. Thank you for your comment on my mother-that just reminded me of her untimely death; I hope that you have a little more consideration for others, asshole. I'm really not frothing or pouting, I am enjoying the flames because it gives me a chance to openly, publicly mock you for posting an unsigned review-it proves how immature and afraid you are to sign your name and show you're a man, not a nonny-mouse. I hope that you enjoy the story since you're determined to write reviews for it. I will be expecting your flames for each chapter. As we learned in the Jossverse, canon is malleable and can change at any minute, so your happiness may or may not be short lived-and I can only hope! Hope that you have fun since you're determined to ignore warnings and all the boldface print. PS-Learn to spell, asshole.

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_unsigned guest review 3: Oh yes! I'm thrilled! I love a ranting Shenny with such palpable anger! I'm going to go all Criminal Minds on your ass and put together a forensic psychological profile! Write away and reveal your pathologic psychology! This is gonna be fun!_

Guest 3-Yeah, go ahead-I would love to see a CM psychological profile on me. Although to be quite honest, bark bark wrong tree, little doggie. You won't get it right, not by a longshot. I had fun writing it, I hope you have as much fun reading it and trying to figure me out-but I guess that you're too immature to sign your name. Too bad. Please, follow and favorite it as well-it just makes my read count climb and stats look better. Waste your time, it's yours to do with what you want.

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**Once again, if you are a Leonard fan, this is not a Leonard friendly fic-and it only gets worse, not better. My account, my fantasy. If you can't read this or are just determined to ignore the warnings, expect to be mocked openly! I'm not afraid of anonymous assholes, as you can tell.  
**

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Penny gave Sheldon a light kiss on the cheek, then snuck out of his room and back to her own apartment just before dawn. She made herself scarce, avoiding Leonard when he tapped on her door that morning and again that afternoon. She knew that Sheldon had made it to the train station in Glendale; she should know, she took him and his three cases, saw him onto the train with a hug and a kiss, made sure that he called Missy to pick him up in Houston, and called his mother. Yes, she made sure that the plan was in motion before she saw Leonard Wednesday afternoon.

Mary called right on time, just as they all showed up at her front door, ready for a night of 'freedom from Sheldon' as they were putting it. Assholes. Even after all that guilt from Sheldon's mother and from her, he still wasn't going after him. Her estimation of Leonard dropped a little more, down to nil.

"You have to go get him." She made sure that his back was to her, that he was facing Howard and Rajesh; otherwise, her face might reveal her true feelings and that would be disastrous. She didn't want to play her hand before they got back.

"Why do I have to go? I don't want to go to Texas!" he whined.

"Leonard Hofstadter, he is your best friend. He is your roommate. You caused this with your unscrupulous behavior. You need to make amends and go get him from Texas. If you don't, then I don't think that there is any hope for anything between us."

Howard and Raj were gaping at her and she just stood there, her hands on her hips and the disapproving look on her face. She couldn't help it. If she had to use her considerable acting talents (well, she had already—she'd kissed him, didn't she?) then she would.

"All right, I'll go to Texas, but I don't want to. I swear, the things that I do for that freak! I can't believe this shit. A break cannot be caught, no matter what I try to do." He stomped across the hall and into his own apartment and slammed the door, leaving Howard and Raj in the hall.

They looked at her, back at the closed door, then back at her again. Penny gave them a tight smile, and then closed her own door. She had to go into her bathroom with a pillow and scream into the fluffy depths at Leonard's remark. So, he thought Sheldon was a freak? Well, that explains a lot. Quite a lot.

She waited until she knew that they were gone, checking for Leonard's car out her living room window. The parking lot was almost empty and his car was missing, so she left the apartment and headed to her destination with the money that Sheldon gave her, rented the place for a month, and made her other stops. It was good to see her old friends again and when she explained what she needed they were happy to oblige—especially Kurt. He actually liked Sheldon, surprisingly, and despised Leonard, which wasn't a surprise.

Yes, things were falling into place and they would get Leonard back for his behavior, one way or another.

Yes, she would see to it. Her Moonpie would get his revenge and she would get some satisfaction from it; she was counting on it.

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They came back on the red-eye, just as Sheldon predicted, and returned to their apartment in the middle of the night without disturbing her. She was still awake; Leonard didn't look for her light and she didn't have it on, either. She texted Sheldon and he came over an hour after Leonard went to bed. He tapped on her door with one finger and whispered her name between, three knocks and a whisper times three before she would answer. She never questioned his need; she just let him do it.

She wrapped her arms around him and surprisingly, he allowed her to, knowing that she needed the comfort of the hug more than he did. "I'm so glad that you're back," she whispered, still operating under the supposition that Leonard could hear her.

"You knew that it was a ruse, Penny. I don't understand your distress."

"Even knowing it was a ruse, Sheldon, if I disappeared for three days, wouldn't you be upset?"

He arched his brow, and then frowned and she knew that he was pondering the ramifications. "I see your point. Yes, I would be quite put out by your absence. Did you accomplish all we planned?"

She let him go and clapped her hands lightly, glee on her face. "Oh yes, with money to spare. All the players are engaged, Kurt's on board, everything is set up. Those applications for sabbatical have been submitted electronically from their computers—how did you hack into their computers again? You are gonna have to teach me that. And Howard's mother thinks that he's going to a Jewish retreat for engineers. Everything is falling into place, Sheldon."

"Very good, Penny."

"I bought some clothes, Sheldon. Special clothes."

He followed her to her bedroom and looked at the array of clothing on her bed. "Penny, won't these be uncomfortable?"

"It's all for show, Sheldon. Think of it as a costume. Pretend it's for Comic-Con. I don't care. When they see this, it will scare the living shit out of them. Trust me."

He was filled with doubt, but he would trust her. He had to. He had never done anything like this before.

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The Three Amigos, as they started calling themselves, went out to the bars for Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday. As per the norm, they bombed out with the women and were heading out at last call, half-drunk and careless. Weaving wildly, they headed down the street to the public parking lot to grab their jackets out of Leonard's trunk and wait for the taxi.

Their ride, though, was a big, black panel van. It stopped in front of them and four large people with ski masks jumped out. Leonard was the easiest takedown, falling to the sidewalk in a fetal position screaming, "Don't hurt me!"

Surprisingly, Raj was the most difficult. He took out one guy and it took the other three ten minutes before they had him bound and in the back.

Howard tried to run, but had an asthma attack about a half block away. They stopped to pick him up on the way down the street, gave him a puff on a rescue inhaler, and tied him up.

They had hoods over their heads but the assailants forgot gags.

"You don't need me! I study the stars! I can't build rockets, that's Howard. He's the skinny asthmatic! Or rocket fuel, that's Leonard, the four-eyed chickenshit!"

"Shut up Raj!"

"Yeah, they don't know who's who."

"Idiot, they do now."

"Both of you shut up. You're both stupid. Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'll bet they're terrorists!"

"_I'll bet they're terrorists_! Of course they're terrorists! What do you think they are, rival gangs of physicists? Rogue engineers? What the frak?"

"I'm a fucking idiot magnet. I swear to God."

"All of you shut the fuck up!" One of the masked men turned around and banged on the floor of the van with a large pipe. It made a loud, horrible clang on the floor that rattled inside their heads and snapped them to attention.

There was silence for a moment, then—

"I need to pee-pee."

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When the hoods were removed, they were in a cement room. The same four kidnappers were there, but there were two more people among them. Two more, but they seemed like they were the ones in charge.

One was a man. He wore a pair of skin-tight leather pants and a leather jacket over a bare chest. Leather gloves covered his hands, leather hat on his head and low over his forehead, aviator mirrored sunglasses over his eyes. He had boots on his widely spread feet, a whip in his hand, and he had at least a day's growth of beard on his face. In short, he was a mean-looking motherfucker, ready to tear someone a new asshole.

The other was a woman. If any of them weren't shriveled in fear, they would have gotten hard. She was dressed in a skintight suit of black latex that covered her from head to toe. There was mesh over her eyes and ears to allow her to hear and see, but other than that, she was completely covered. Not one inch of her was visible, not even her hair. The only thing that they could see was her mouth.

But what a mouth. The lips were full, plump, and lusciously red. They parted and exposed perfect white teeth that caught at the bottom lip and molested it for a moment, then a pink tongue flicked obscenely at upper and lower lip before the mouth went still and the 'face' of the woman looked up at the man. She clutched at the man's leg where she knelt at his feet, her hand resting just below the visible jut of his large cock. Her hand stroked up and down his leg, petting him, in a plea for attention that he ignored.

He didn't speak. He stood there, menace emanating from his pores, then turned his head and nodded to the abductors. One of the abductors spoke. "You will be judged. Tomorrow."

The six of them left through a door that was behind them. After a few minutes, the lights went off, but not before they heard the sound of wings. Thousands of wings.

They were left in the dark with the sound of thousands of flying insects.

Penny, Sheldon, and Penny's friends from her Hollywood connections, stood behind the door and listened to them scream themselves hoarse. It took about an hour. The tape played continuously on repeat behind them.

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She handed Sheldon a diet virgin Cuba Libre with a slice of lime in a tall glass. She wasn't about to get him drunk tonight, not while they were here, not with the guys in the basement and the tape on replay. The other four got beer and she drank bottled water.

"Okay, introductions. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. This is Mark, sound guy. James, stunt man. Sheila, costumes. Peter, Sheila's husband and a stunt man. Mark, are you okay?" Penny asked.

"Yeah. Just didn't expect the guy to sucker punch me. I was more concerned over the guy having the asthma attack than that. I was worried that we would have to take him to the hospital. So how long are we going to keep them like this?"

"Three days max. We'll see how tomorrow goes." Penny took a long drink and said, "Remember Kurt? He wants a crack at breaking them. Getting them to confess their crimes, his words, and writing it down for the university."

"Penny, we didn't discuss this part." Sheldon looked askance at her and she turned to face him head on.

"Sheldon, either you allow me to take them down this way or it's another way. And you don't want me to go the other way. They might not recover."

"What's the other way?" He looked genuinely puzzled and she shrugged and looked at Sheila and the other guys. They nodded and she went ahead.

"Sheldon, Sheila and the guys are doms. They practice domination and submission. Usually, it is consensual, but in rare cases, they will take on a case when punishment is necessary. Very, very rare cases."

"What about in this case?"

"Sheldon? Are you asking them to make the boys submit? Sexually? Do you think that their offence is…do you think that it warrants that?"

Sheldon set the hat holding the gloves and glasses aside and folded his hands in his lap. "Penny, normally I would say that we should deny them gratification of hormonal urges, but I do not believe that submission would gratify them. In fact, I want them humiliated. I want to see them squirm. I want to see them used and abused."

Penny reached out and grabbed Sheldon's arm. She lowered her voice a notch and pulled him forward, closer to her, to speak almost directly in his ear. "Sheldon, are you sure? This isn't like my Moonpie. This is more diabolical that I thought you would even consider. I thought about something like that, but I figured that you would be horrified by it. Shelly, we can make them wish they'd never come to Pasadena."

"Penny, they may have ruined my chances of winning the Nobel Prize. Yes, this is diabolical, but if they took that away from me and I did not retaliate in any way I…I could never forgive myself. I want my pound of flesh."

"Okay, Shylock, if that's what you want." She turned to Mark and turned both thumbs up. "Call the Council. He wants it all. We'll go for Saturday night."

Mark rubbed his hands together. "Wow, three virgins on Saturday. Fantastic! Been a long time since we had three of them and they will be good and spooked after tonight."

Sheila smiled. "This is gonna be good. Mixed?"

"Yeah, mixed." She thought for a moment, and then continued. "I've wondered about Raj and Howard and what their relationship actually is, but I'm pretty sure that Leonard could be persuaded to go either way. Yeah, make it a good mix and we'll give you a little info on all three of them so we can make this a good one. But no matter what, we pay extra special attention to Leonard. I have the feeling that he's the ringleader of this little circus and he was pulling the strings here, not Howard and Raj. Leonard is way too possessive of me, even though we've only gone on one date and never slept together. In fact, I want the majority of the action centered on Leonard. Sheldon can have his payback, but I'll get mine too that way."

Sheldon watched and sipped his diet coke from the straw. Penny was speaking of things that he had no knowledge of and hoped never to require. She was comfortable with these things. Sexual things. It was a situation beyond his comprehension.

If he were to attain understanding of the situation before Saturday, though, he had better go home and google submission. She had told him he had to watch and witness any action performed. He would do so because he trusted her. He trusted her and he promised.

She stood and held out her hand. "We're finished for the night, Sheldon. Let's go home."

He placed his hand in hers and she pulled him to his feet. He waved at her friends, slightly intimidated by their size, although they had been very kind to him and tried to include him in their planning. She held onto his hand all the way out to the car; it wasn't unpleasant, he found. In fact, he was beginning to enjoy the sensation of her palm pressed against his when she left him at the passenger door of her vehicle, walking around to the other side of the car.

They were almost home when he realized that he still wore his leather suit. "Penny, we're still wearing our costumes."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, you can go get some clothes and just come over and take it off at my place. You might need some help with the pants; they're kind of hard to get off after they've been on for a while."

Sheldon froze. She was going to assist him in removing his pants?

"Penny, you cannot help me remove my pants."

"Sheldon, we'll worry about it when we get home."

She pulled into the parking lot and they went up the three flights, parting at the doors of their apartments. "I'll see you in a few minutes to help you get out of those pants, Sheldon."

Sheldon didn't answer; he was already inside the apartment. She shrugged and went into her own. She made light work of peeling off the rest of the latex suit and got into her pajamas and a tee shirt, then noticed that Sheldon still wasn't there.

She went across the hall, knocked on the door, and went inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stop! Do you love Leonard, or the thought of Leonard and Penny together? This is not the story for you!**

**Fair warning: If you like Leonard, turn back now! Contains sexual situations, language, B&D, and dubious consent. Proceed at your own risk.**

**This is a work of fiction, with fictional characters in fictional situations. This is not _real_. **

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_Guest infinity: ...I guess that you're too immature to sign your name..._  
_Nope! I write Guest to piss you off! LOL! Now go and wipe the angry froth from your mouth, nursey! I admit i do feel sorry for your patients! Such anger! Such hostility! Such seething rage! Such bad writing! Such canon jealousy! Such hateful prose! Such BURN that Leonard loves Penny and Penny loves Leonard! Such happiness on my part!_

Yo, baby! Hey, just fyi-there's no frothing, no anger, no rage, no jealousy, no hostility-yet. It doesn't burn me because Leonard loves Penny, because Leonard is a delusional idiot with his own twisted idea of Penny and Penny doesn't really love Leonard, she loves the idea of being in a relationship. If you can't recognize codependency, too bad for you. And...be careful going to the hospital-or the doctor's office-or anywhere for health care, if you're so worried about my patients. It could be _you! _Mua-ha-ha! And, if the writing is so bad, why are you reading it? Get a life, loser, and go read something you want to read instead. Life is too short to waste on things you don't enjoy. Although, I am enjoying your raving reviews! I know that I'm making you nervous, eliciting your vituperative rants. Sorry, dear. Now, sweetie, go look the big words up on dictionary dot com, okay, and let us grown ups read...

* * *

All right-this was funny, now it's getting sad...

_Guest: Are you always high when you write this?_  
_If not the you need help motherfucker!_

_Guest: Well I'm a shenny them._  
_But this is sick! So are you!_  
_Don't let people you know read these, they'll think that you're crazy! And Obviously there is no doubt in that! -_-_

If you cannot contain yourself and limit your comments or criticism to the writing and not the person, then there is really, _really_ something wrong. This whole 'ship war is verging on cyber-bullying. I post warnings, I have told them that this is not for everyone, I've mocked them...and they just don't get it. When you have to attack the person, their life, their profession, or anything else besides the writing, then they have lost their focus and their credibility.

I guess it's a good thing that I have a thick skin. Their antagonistic behavior is not going to stop me from writing or posting. I am starting to believe that they are jealous, immature drama-seekers who don't have enough drama in their lives so they need to go out and create it.

So, for all my wonderful guest readers-review away. That's why there are moderated reviews and yours will be deleted.

And just in case they are still reading-

Guest 1-no, I don't get high.

Guest 2-if you're a Shenny fan and you don't like this story, click on the back button. It's up there in the right hand corner-yeah, right there. And actually, people that I know do read my stuff and I get personal feedback from them-and I don't think that I'm the crazy one right now. Really.

* * *

I have to say, the fantastic reviews and the PMs that I've received offset all the bullshit, and I thank you, my friends. I can't thank you enough.

* * *

Information for newbies: A nonny, or nonny-mouse, is someone who anonymously reviews a story (usually a flame, or bad review because they don't like the story, the relationship involved, or the pairing) or feels threatened by someone's story and therefore feels it's their God-given right to spew their vomitous crap onto the review page. Some people feel threatened or are afraid of nonnys, but they are pretty common in your lesser known ships (like the ones I ship). I find them humorous.

And if you like, I will post the 'best of the nonnys' at the end of the story, because if they hate it now, they are really, really going to hate it later, lol. I got a long one earlier that is just hilarious.

Now, on with the show, this is it! :D

* * *

Sheldon rushed to open the door of his apartment, slipping inside and leaning back against it, panting, and stomach in knots. He had been mentally fighting against the hormonal stimulation that the sight of Penny dressed in a form-fitting latex cat suit and high-heeled boots had elicited from his limbic system. It nearly overwhelmed him at inopportune moments; in the basement, she had knelt down by his leg and he felt her hand slither along the leather, her hand resting just south of his scrotal sac stuffed into the tight material of the pants. He thought for a moment that he would faint. It would not have been the first time that he passed out from unwanted physical contact—Missy could attest to that, at least.

The thought of her assisting him in removing the clinging pants, however—he could not fathom how he would possibly deal with it. Considering all the variables—his lack of undergarments his primary concern, even overriding the semi-erection that was straining against said garments—there was not a chance in the world that he would allow Penny anywhere near him when the pants came off.

He was neither drunk nor drugged. Therefore, the only recourse was to remove the offending garments himself, with as much speed as possible before Penny rejoined him for another planning session.

He unsnapped and unzipped the offending pants. He had taken Penny at face value when she told him not to wear his 'tighty-whities'—"Jesus, Sheldon, I haven't seen those since my brother was five. Get some boxers, sweetie, before you ruin the genius semen that you're always talking about trying to sell or preserve." She had said something along the lines of unwanted 'panty lines', which he googled. He agreed with her; the delineation of his chosen undergarments, whether they be boxers, briefs, or an amalgam of the two, would despoil the aesthetic line of the pants, be they on him or another.

He regretted his choice to go, as Penny put it so delicately, 'commando'.

He pulled on the plackets and shimmied his hips in the same manner that he had worked the pants on, with the aid of liberally applied talcum powder. The powder, however, had mingled with the effluence of sweat due to raised temperatures in his groin and leg regions (mostly where Penny had touched him, from the left ankle to the front of his thigh, so close, so close, had she moved her hand) and instead of allowing the pants to slide freely from his skin, they stuck to him. Glued to him, as it were.

In his hurry, though, he neglected to notice the adhesive properties of the talcum. He had the pants halfway down his thighs, the narrow waistband imprisoning his knees and hindering his stride as he tried to hop toward his room.

The height of the step must be off or his perception was off, something was off because he tried to step into the hall, tripped, and landed heavily on his left shoulder, still clutching his pants.

The pain was immediate. He could understand why Penny had screamed out when she took the fall in her tub and why she was so insistent in him driving her to the hospital. It shocked his system and he did the only thing that he knew to do when something so unnatural ruptured his thought processes in that manner—he screamed, a deep nonsensical yell that came from the bottom of his solar plexus and roared out of his throat, fraught with overtones of his father's voice. The sound made him cringe inside even as his brain shorted out and pain became more of a focus than his impinged knees, his erect penis protruding (although, in fairness, it was shrinking rapidly now) or the thrice-damned offensive pants.

* * *

Penny had her hand on the doorknob of 4A when she heard a deep, guttural yell. "Son of a fucking bitch!"

That couldn't be Sheldon. In all the years that she'd known him, she had never heard him yell like that, with that deep Texas twang throbbing through his voice, nor profanity so severe. It scared her into motion and she threw the door open on the apartment to find Sheldon laying in the entrance to the hall, his pants halfway off, hyperventilating.

She grabbed the paper bag that they kept by the front door for such emergencies—they only had about two dozen hidden in various spots around the room because one or the other was always having a panic attack of some sort. With a flick of her wrist, it was open as she ate the distance with her feet, crossing the room quickly to kneel next to her fallen friend.

She pressed the bag to his mouth, then glanced down to assess the situation and came face to—well, face to penis with Sheldon. She glanced back up to his face and looked at him resolutely. "We have to get the pants the rest of the way off, Sheldon. You hit your shoulder, didn't you?"

Sheldon took the bag from his mouth long enough to answer her. "I believe that I have dislocated it from the glenoid and acromium process, Penny."

"Oh, sweetie!" She touched his cheek, and then moved to his feet to remove his boots and tug against the clinging fabric. She had better leverage than he did because the pants came right off his legs, freeing them. Sheldon immediately rolled over onto his stomach, hiding the partial erection, even though he knew that Penny had already noticed his aroused state.

He realized that he was almost completely unclothed, his only clothing the motorcycle jacket that still rode his back—and his dislocated shoulder. "I cannot go to the emergency room dressed in this manner, Penny."

He chanced a look down and saw she was not there.

She returned from his room, his Thursday pajamas in hand. She put them on his feet before standing him up, pulling him easily to his feet by one hand. Closing her eyes, she reached down and skimmed the pants up his thighs, the backs of her hands brushing the fine hairs and forcing goose bumps to erupt across his skin.

She stepped back and allowed him to close the bottoms in front. "We have to get that jacket off, Sheldon. They won't be able to put your arm back in the socket without removing it and I don't particularly want them to cut it off of you."

"Do what is necessary, Penny. I will try to maintain consciousness."

She eased the sleeve from his right arm first to allow herself more room to work. Slowly and with great care, she slid the left sleeve from his injured arm, inching it down his deceptively muscular arm and off his hand. She could see the arm just hanging, his broad shoulder drooping and obviously deformed from the accident.

She eschewed the white tee shirt and slipped the left sleeve onto his arm, pulling the material across his back to hold it out for his right arm to penetrate the other sleeve. She'd learned a little from her own experience and bent his elbow to button his arm inside his pajama top, easing the pressure off the dislocation.

She tossed his slippers onto the floor in front of him and hauled him out of the apartment and down to the car.

* * *

Six hours later, after an hour wait in the ER waiting room, filling out papers, hearing that phrase again in that deep, twanging baritone that sent a shiver up her spine, a trip to the drug store, and then back home, she was helping Sheldon up the stairs. Even for her, the mirror-like déjà vu was eerie; she couldn't imagine what Sheldon was thinking. When he wasn't singing.

She had been serenaded by several songs from the big band era on the way to the drugstore. When she returned to the car, he had been entertaining passers-by with a variety of show tunes, his head protruding from the window of her car. She scolded him and rolled up the window and he started singing top 40 love songs from the eighties and nineties.

She pulled him out of the car by his hand and slung her arm around his waist. "Come on, Moonpie, we need to get you upstairs and into bed."

"Penny, that is patently incorrect. _We_ need to get to bed. We have a big day of torturing Leonard tomorrow."

She looked up at him and he glanced down at her, his eyes half-lidded and sultry—or maybe it was the sleepy feeling he was getting from the pain medication. "Yes, we do. Do you think that you'll be able to follow through with your arm injured?"

"As I am not participating in the sexual component of the evening, I believe that I will be able to handle whatever is thrown my way. Not to mention, my left arm is non-dominant, though my ambidextrous abilities will be curtailed while the injury heals."

_Wow. Even when he's stoned, he can lecture with the best of them_, she thought. She reached for her keys and unlocked his door with her key to their apartment, then ushered him inside.

She was tucking him into bed when he reached for her and grabbed her arm. With a tug, he had her flipped into the empty space beside him, her head resting on his right shoulder and his arm still around her as he snuggled down under his blankets. "Sing 'Soft Kitty', Penny," he said sleepily.

She leaned up on her elbow to look down at him. "Sheldon, 'Soft Kitty' is only for when you're sick."

He turned those big blue eyes up to look at her. "Drugged and injured is a kind of sick, Penny. Please? Please please please?"

She sang through the song, her soft soprano barely audible in the room as she watched him tip over the edge of consciousness with the aid of the drugs in his system. When she was sure he was completely out, she started to extricate herself from his grasp.

She was nearly there, nearly out of the bed completely when his arm reached out and grabbed her around the waist, dragging her back into the bed with him. "Don't leave, Kitten. The bed is colder without you."

She chewed her lip as she debated internally. If she stayed, who knows how Sheldon would react in the morning? He could freak out and never speak to her again; banish her from apartment 4A and their lives. He could break her heart.

It hadn't healed from _his_ heartbreak. She had taken on his pain and plotted this exercise in vengeance just as surely as it had been her own. In a way, it had; Leonard was supposed to be one of the good guys, the Fantastic Four personified. Sheldon was Mr. Fantastic, Howard was the Torch, Leonard was the Thing, and Raj as The Invisible Girl (because really, the whole non-talky thing? _So_ made him pretty invisible. She couldn't help that it was a woman and not a male character). And why was she thinking of comic book characters when a hot guy had his arm around her, pulling her into bed with him?

Wait—hot guy? Oh, yeah. In fact, her Moonpie looked pretty nummy nummy in those pants and that outfit. Her last thought before she dozed off was how much she had wanted to eat him up.

* * *

Sheldon woke with a throbbing in his shoulder, a faceful of hair, and a warm, soft body pressing insistently against his. He breathed in the scent of green tea and grapefruit and remembered basket number three, the luxury spa set.

He much preferred the green apple or the citrus shampoo that she had used in the past. It made him preen internally that she was wearing the scents that he gave her. She wanted him to notice her scent, he realized.

She wiggled her hips and brushed against his pajama bottoms and the expected biological reaction occurred.

Her breathing changed and he knew that she was awake. His shoulder throbbed in time with his groin, but the sensations of her soft buttocks pressed tightly against his growing arousal superseded any impulses that his shoulder could manage to send out. He grew preternaturally still, feigning slumber, bent on discovering what Penny would do upon finding herself in his arms with his erection pressing against her.

She turned to her back, her arms held tightly to her sides. She looked up into his face; he could barely see through the slits in his eyelids and his thick lashes. She was searching, trying to find if he was sleeping or awake, he surmised.

She reached down with her left hand and cupped his erection, then pulled back suddenly as if it had burned her. He could feel the tension radiating off her body, a palpable force that drew her to him at the same time it repulsed her, pushing her away from him. He had no idea why it might repulse her; another mystery concerning Penny, he thought.

She brushed her hand over him again and he breathed in sharply, abandoning his ruse. "Penny," he whispered.

"Sheldon. How is your shoulder?" she whispered back, hesitant to break the peace between them prematurely. He hadn't freaked out yet. That was good.

"It is throbbing, but the locus of my pain right now is not in my shoulder, it is much lower."

She thought about what he said as he opened his eyes and looked meaningfully at her, his eyes saying things that his mouth just couldn't. There was a dark, thoughtful look deep in those blues, one she had never imagined to see before last night. It brought back the memory of his drawl, how it shivered down her spine and planted itself deep in her own gut, pulsing with need even now at the mere recollection of the sound.

Wait—was Sheldon asking her to…to help him with his morning wood?

She must have spoken aloud because he answered her question. "It was caused by your movements against me as I slept. It is only fair that you take care of it, as I am…incapacitated."

She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "I thought you were ambidextrous?"

"Not in everything." When he realized what he was saying, his cheeks flushed a deep, dark red that looked absolutely charming.

She turned over to face him, bringing his pelvis closer to hers. She twisted their feet together and propped herself up on her left hand, her hair swinging freely to brush against the pillow and his arm. "So you jerk off, Moonpie."

"When I am forced to, I have taken care of my needs in the past."

"Uh-huh. Thought that was above you, or beneath you, or whatever. Homo Novus and all, you know."

"Even Homo Novus has biological urges, Penny."

She looked down at the tent in his pajama bottoms, now poking her just above the pubis. It twitched under the weight of her gaze. She glanced up at Sheldon and he was watching her looking at him, his eyes saying what he could not. _Please touch me. Please. I can't ask you directly, but you can feel how much I want this to happen_.

With her right hand, she reached up and cupped his face.

"I don't know whether to kick you or kiss you sometimes."

It had to be the drugs, it just had to. He was usually intolerant of more than plain acetaminophen and he should just stick to the over the counter stuff and not these hardcore prescription drugs because they make you see things and say things that you've been holding onto for too long.

"I would rather you kiss me. Kiss me, touch me, anything that you want, Penny. I need you."

His hands flew to his mouth, closing it against any further faux pas. He had too many secrets, too many thoughts that he needed to hide from her, _especially_ from her. How could he let her know that she was the star of his fantasies, his dreams, his Nobel Prize speech? He could not and so kept his hands from letting anything else escape.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with astonishment. Without a second thought, she dragged him down so she could reach his mouth more readily, pushing his hands away so she could latch on to that delicious, smart, always-lecturing and never-quiet mouth.

His lips were soft and slightly moist; she slotted her mouth against his and pressed lightly, coaxing him to join her with the care she would take with a baby deer. His mother flashed through her mind and she pushed her away, not wanting anyone else in her head while she was kissing Sheldon.

Kissing Sheldon! Her mind wanted to explode, even as her body was taking over. Even with her sexually aggressive tendencies and checkered past, she didn't want to fuck this up, so she was creeping along in the process, slowly kissing him, building to the finale instead of jumping in head and heart-first as usual. One wrong step and he would run away screaming; she would prefer that his revelation take place after the coitus, thank you.

Oh my God, now she was even thinking like him. That wasn't good at all.

She turned off her brain and turned her thoughts back to the action. He actually stuck his tongue in her mouth first, something that she had never expected from him at all. His left hand was cupping her breast through her shirt and thumb raking over her nipple. Yeah, he had a thing for that tit, didn't he? His other hand was pushing her hips closer to his, grinding her against him.

Whoa nelly. That's not how this is going to end. Frotting against one another until he gets off? _So_ not on the menu this morning.

She pushed away long enough to whip her tank over her head and push her shorts down. "Sheldon, lose the pajamas, sweetie."

He was already half undressed by the time she got the words out. His top was off; his bottoms followed it over the side of the bed. He rolled onto his back and jerked her over on top of him. "I do not believe that my shoulder will support me adequately," he said apologetically, and she waved it off.

"Don't fret, sweetie." She raised up, pressed him inside her, and then eased herself down onto him, slowly taking him in.

They realized, at the same time, exactly what they were doing. She stopped, her pubic bone grinding her tender flesh against him, her eyes wide as she searched his face.

Sheldon, on the other hand, looked up and saw the possibilities of a reality he never thought within his grasp. She was his golden goddess in the bright sunlight that streamed through the window, her hair fluffed around her head in a tangled nimbus that made her seem ethereal and angelic.

She balanced herself with her hands on his chest. She felt so full, so complete with him inside her—as if the piece that was missing in her life magically appeared. Well, yeah—it was inside her right now, but more importantly, it was who, not what.

He pulled her tightly against him, breaking her balance and forcing her down onto his chest. "Penny, is it usual for you to take such liberties with your neighbors?"

"Yeah, well, we passed neighborly about two shirts and a pair of pants ago, sweetie." She flexed her inner muscles and when his eyes fluttered closed, realized that he probably had no idea what they were or how she was doing that. Feeling impish, she fluttered and rippled the muscles around him, watching his face closely.

"How—how are you doing that? You're not even moving!"

"Thought that you had a working knowledge of everything, Sheldon?"

"Obviously, physics taught me nothing of coitus, Penny." He rolled her nipple between his fingers and her eyes rolled back in her head this time. "However, trial and error will teach me what I need to discover. I will draw further hypotheses from these encounters and learn everything about coitus, thus adding to my broad knowledge base."

She bit her lip and felt him swelling still inside her. If anything, he was still growing, still hardening as she moved without moving. "God, Sheldon, you're already about to split me in two. And encounters? Does that mean you're planning more than one?"

He groaned and rolled his hips, pushing into her even further, if that were possible. "As many as I need. To learn everything."

She bent her head and nipped at his mouth, flicking her tongue across the wounded lip before she caught it between her own. "Plan on doing this a lot, then, because you've got a lot to learn, sweetie."

"I look forward to your tutelage."

Conversation stopped. Sensation became their primary focus and thus, their driving force.

* * *

Penny fell onto her back, panting. "Oh. My. God. Sheldon, you're a wizard. Or a psychic."

He looked down at her, grinning softly. "Do you think so? I believe that was only adequate. You reached your peak four times, if I counted rightly. Was that enough?"

She backed away from him, wondering what kind of monster she had created. Despite his injured shoulder and what should have been a sweet, simple deflowering, it had turned into a marathon round of sex, sex, and more sex. He had done everything in his power, from fingers to tongue and beyond, to push her buttons. Even returning to previously pushed buttons to push again. That didn't even make sense in her own mind, but then again, it didn't have to. Suffice it to say, Sheldon was a fast learner. Especially when it was a subject of interest to him, he could experiment, and he had a willing subject to experiment on. Specifically, Penny.

She looked over at the clock and rolled off the bed. "We need to shower, eat, and medicate you, Sheldon. We have an appointment at eight, remember? We missed the planning session, but I'm sure that they have all that under control. They are pros at this, you know?"

"I am not certain that this punishment is equal to the crime, Penny. Do you think that they will be permanently scarred by what they will be required to do?"

Penny leaned on his chest, looking up at him from under his chin. "Look at it this way, Sheldon. You have always told us that you were Homo Novus. I see you as the alpha male of the bunch, don't you? If the beta males try to overthrow the alpha male in a pack of animals, what does the alpha male do?"

"Rip out their throats."

"But since we aren't animals and you can't rip out their throats, what do you think about making them complete subordinates? I think that this is absolutely just desserts for those three. They should have thought twice before they messed with you and in the end, they will understand what they've done. They won't be forced to do anything that they don't want to. Even Sheila isn't that cruel, and she's the toughest dom I have ever met." She reached up to smack him on the lips with her own, and then swung her legs off the bed. "And who knows? Maybe they will like it. You have to admit, all three of them are kind of…weak and submissive, don't you think?"

He sat up and walked unselfconsciously across the room. Gathering his clothes, he pondered her statement as she watched him, her eyes hungry for the sight of him naked. God, that man was a genius in bed, too. Who would have thunk it?

"I suppose that you are correct, Penny. I've never really thought of their sexual proclivities, although now that you have mentioned it, I wonder if you are correct in your assumption."

He turned and saw her face, her eyes eating him alive. "You have the appearance of arousal once again, Penny. Shall we continue in our prior activities, or—"

"No, no—we have all night for that. Who knows, you might get a kick out of watching them take their punishment. You are kind of cruel at times, Sheldon. This might trip your trigger too."

"I have never found pornography interesting in the least, Penny."

"Not the same, Sheldon. You'll see. It's not the same at all."


	4. Chapter 4

**Fair warning: If you like Leonard, turn back now! Contains sexual situations, language, B&D, and dubious consent. Proceed at your own risk.**

* * *

**And now, the chapter that you've all been waiting for, Shenny lovers and non-Shenny lovers alike.  
**

* * *

After two romps in the shower (it really was her fault; she should have known it would delay them when she dropped to her knees) and one more in Sheldon's spot, they finally reached the Castle and parked in the underground garage prior to getting in the elevator.

Sheldon was fascinated by the whole thing, it seemed. His eyes were wide and he had that look on his face, the one that he got before a trip to the comic book store on New Comic Day. The look was pure anticipation and enthrallment and Penny was surprised to see it.

Surely, _he_ wouldn't be that thrilled at seeing his friends turned into sex slaves.

Perhaps it was only a secondary reaction to revenge. They had ruined his research and put his entire career on the line; maybe he was just excited about getting back at them. Or maybe it was something else, something darker that lived in the heart and mind of Sheldon Cooper that had never been allowed out to play before. Either way, it was making her slightly paranoid and it showed. She watched him with shrewd, sidelong glances that he took little notice of, so eager he seemed.

They stepped out of the elevator and into a richly appointed foyer. Another one of Penny's acquaintances, Michelle, waited for them and took them into the viewing room.

She stepped up to the one-way mirror and saw Leonard, Howard, and Raj in the center of the training room, naked and shivering. They huddled as close together as they could, cupping their genitals with their hands. She giggled when she realized that while Leonard required both his hands to hide, Howard only needed one. Raj, however, was unable to hide his cock with two hands and a crouch.

She turned and stared up at Sheldon. "Raj is hung like a horse! Almost as big…" She clapped her hand over her mouth but he could follow her train of thought easily. She had been about to reveal his own measurements, he surmised, and favorably considering how she had prefaced the aborted statement.

"Yes. While I do not normally notice things of that nature, it was more than apparent when the generator ran out of gas on the expedition. We were forced to sleep naked together and there was much discussion on penis size. I felt they placed too much emphasis on their own beliefs concerning satisfaction and length, however, considering your own reactions earlier this evening, I find that I must retract my assertion that size does not matter."

She poked him in his side and he let out an involuntary gasp. "Trust me, honey; you have nothing to worry about."

Then she had a thought and she turned to look up at him. "I'm going to be masked, as will you. Do you want to take your own revenge?"

He pondered the question as she watched him carefully. "I believe that I have no interest in a homosexual encounter with any of them, therefore I will pass on that offer. You, however, may do as you like. We are not pair bonded in any way, other than the coitus that we participated in earlier. You may…."

Penny put her hand over his mouth to stop whatever he was going to spout off before he could do so. "If I do play, it won't be nice or fun for them. It will be—well, lemme put it this way, Moonpie—it will be something they will never forget."

He gave her an inscrutable look that almost made him seem menacing. "I highly doubt that they will forget anything from tonight, Penny. This—" He spread his hands and encompassed the entire room, themselves included. "This entire situation would seem memorable, even without a memory like mine."

She linked their arms and drew their attention back to the viewing mirror. "You know, Sheldon, when you're right, you're right. Let's watch this unfold for a while."

Sheldon could find no discrepancies in her statement, so he complied with her thinly veiled request.

* * *

Leonard tried to hide himself, he truly did. He was already strung as taut as a cello string after a sleepless night of being tied to a chair with flying insects all around him. Of all things, why did they have to choose bugs? He hated bugs of all sorts.

Two large men approached him and they took his arms, pulling them back and behind him. He felt something large and heavy passed through his skewed elbows, and then rough rope chafed his skin as he was tied to a bar, on display. He looked over and saw Raj being tied to an X-frame and Howard to an empty cable roll, his arms and legs splayed out.

"Why are you doing this? What have we done? Who are you people?" Leonard couldn't help himself; he had to know something soon or he was going to lose his mind.

The men ignored him and he felt the bar behind him stretching him upward until he was partially suspended, his toes brushing against the wooden floor.

He looked up and she stepped out of the darkness. He felt like she was familiar to him, but he couldn't make out her face, only her shape. He squinted to try to get a better look at her and the lights above him grew brighter, almost as if she knew he was trying to put a name to her. With a wave of her hand, the crowd quieted and Leonard realized that every single person, save the three of them, wore masks. His insides started to quiver and he knew that this was the proverbial shit hitting the fan.

"Leonard Hofstadter, Rajesh Koothrappali, Howard Wolowitz. We have been requested to teach you—a variety of subjects tonight. Respect, order, your place in the scheme of things. Who you are and what choices you have. The consequences of your actions. Where you belong in the general hierarchy. You know, that sort of thing." She waved her hand and several people stepped forward from the crowd. Leonard recognized the tall, silent man and his companions straight away. This time, they were surrounded by several others, all dressed in black leather with hoods over their heads.

"As you can see, we have a large cadre of volunteers to…train you in the ways that you will behave. And you will behave, or your training will continue until you do. Do you understand?"

Leonard looked at his friends. Raj was weeping, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, terror in his eyes. Howard was a gibbering fool, muttering about his mother and police and the isolation of the shack in the Arctic. "We understand," he finally said, his voice carrying the weight of defeat.

"Good. Let the training begin."

Three large, over muscled men came toward him. One removed his glasses, folding them carefully, and handing them to a topless female slave that was milling in the crowd, serving drinks. "Keep these safe behind the bar. Hofstadter, I'm going to enjoy this immensely."

The eyes under the hood flashed and he saw a wide smile and recognized it immediately. Oh, it would be him. The bane of his existence, the one man that he could truly say he feared in Pasadena. Kurt. Kurt, the mountain of muscle without a brain. Kurt, Penny's ex-boyfriend.

"I could call the cops, you know. I know who you are now."

Kurt pulled the hood off and let him see him fully. There was a predatory anticipation on his face and a playful smirk chasing its way over his lips when he stepped closer to Leonard. "Well, that won't do you any good because you signed a release, Lenny. So go ahead and do it. We've got you by the balls." He reached out and grabbed Leonard's testicles, squeezing them a little. "And we're all ready to play."

Leonard's throat closed up as they put the hood over his head, blocking his vision. With a strangled scream, he fainted and hung limp.

"Aw, shit, Kurt, you have to stop scaring them so soon. It's only fun if they squirm a little." Sheila grabbed a bucket of icy water and tossed it on Leonard. His body jerked when he came around and he started begging them not to castrate him.

Sheila moved a little closer and nudged him in the side with her elbow. "Chill out, science boy. We're not going to do anything permanent or lasting—well, except maybe mess with your mind. No castration, sonny."

He wanted to fall down and thank her, but that was out of the question. He moved closer to her with the tips of his toes and mewled in fear.

Sheila threw Penny and Sheldon a look of disgust where they stood behind the mirror and moved away from the sobbing scientist.

* * *

Howard was crying. Crying for his mother, his father, anyone who would help him. When he heard the woman speak, he quieted only for a few minutes, then began crying even louder, begging his God for succor.

Finally, someone slapped a ball-gag in his mouth and fastened it securely, despite him twisting his head and trying to get away.

He looked over and his eyes went comically wide at the interaction between Leonard and Kurt. When Kurt reached out to grab Leonard by the balls, he closed his eyes tightly and missed the cowl that they forced over his head.

* * *

Raj couldn't help himself. When they had grabbed him and dragged him into the panel van, the tears had trickled down his face occasionally. As the situation escalated, so did his weeping, until a veritable river cascaded down his face. It matted his chest hair, chilled his skin as they dried, called undo attention to him, but he couldn't stop.

Now he was tied to an X-shaped frame, his manhood exposed for all to see. He wasn't ashamed; he had never been very modest about his bodily attributes. He was actually quite proud to see that the only one of their group that was larger than he was Sheldon; it only seemed fitting, to his odd idea of these people and their still-strange ways.

He had regretted his acquiescence to the Arctic fiasco since the second it happened. He could honestly say that he had nothing to do with it, considering that he had never used the can opener the entire time that they were in the cold wasteland. He was more concerned with keeping himself from freezing to death and less with keeping Sheldon happy.

His silence had brought him shame. He cried because of the complete justice, the salvation that their punishment would bring. He would be cleansed of his guilt and Krishna would smile on him once again.

He was still crying when they put the mask over his eyes.

* * *

Penny looked at Sheldon as he watched the scene unfold in front of him, safe behind the glass. "They have blindfolds on now. Do you want to go out there?"

His eyes were hard to read when he did look at her, tearing his eyes away from Leonard and Kurt. "I hear them chanting something. What is it?"

She ducked her head and blushed. "Confess."

"Pardon me?" He tilted his head and she looked up at him, her eyes locking on his.

"Confess. I want them to go to Gablehouser voluntarily and tell him what they did to your experiment. When they agree to confess, they'll be released."

He drew away from her, frowning. She pushed him over to the small settee that sat opposite the window and sat with him, grabbing his hand. "Sheldon, if they go to Gablehouser, you will be exonerated and your career will be saved. They will go down in flames and you will be triumphant, right? No more questions about your method or ideas, no more mockery or name-calling. I'm doing this for you, sweetie."

"It is not necessary, Penny."

"Oh, but it is necessary. If you let them get by with this, they will continue to emasculate you until you're nothing but a toy for them to play with, pester, use. You're already one of the bright, shining souls of this world, Sheldon. You always give and give. You're innocent and wholesome and these three…well, two that I'm sure of, they are nothing but takers and users. Raj, I'm not sure—he seems like a follower, not a leader. But Sheldon, Leonard and Howard destroyed you out there and you know it. You can't let that slide, I won't let you. They aren't worth it. If they were better friends, if they didn't constantly abandon you and mock you, baby, then I could understand why you're so hesitant to get your just desserts from them, but they aren't. They aren't. They've never been good friends to you and they never will be."

"Penny, I am certain that this violates the Friendship Agreement clause of the Roommate Agreement…"

"Sheldon, don't you think that they shattered that clause and a dozen others when they did that? I do. Anyway, do you really think that Leonard's your best friend after all that?"

He searched her face. "No, he is not." She smiled and he had to smile back, it was so very infectious. "If anyone is my best friend, Penny, it is you."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him, ignoring the stiffness of his body. She was used to it and they weren't in bed right now; she would see if he reacted this way when they were alone.

God, she hoped not. This morning was too good, too memorable for it to be a one-time thing.

With a bounce in her step and a jaunty smile, she grabbed his hand and brought him out of the viewing room and into the thick of it all.

* * *

Leonard was silent now, his fright robbing him of his voice and anything else he might want to do. He heard the light droning voices as they chanted; as of yet, he couldn't make out the words, only the menace behind them. He felt a prickling sensation as it wended its way up his thighs, over his buttocks, around his scrotum. He wondered what it was, and then realized that he was getting hard and didn't care what it was; only that he was getting excited about it in front of dozens of strangers.

"You always were a show-er, not a grower, Leonard."

The barb was whispered into his ear and he knew that it was she, the one that had spoken to them earlier. "How do you know? I don't even know you."

"You know me better than you think, Lenny." He felt her drag her nails down his back to the cheek of his ass and he jerked, and then realized it was her parting shot as she moved on. Who was that woman?

As they started in on his feet, he knew that he didn't really care.

* * *

Hands. Hands were everywhere, touching him, eliciting reactions that were only meant for privacy. One hand, bolder than the others, slid his foreskin back and he threw his head back, moaning loudly. It always affected him like that, the initial baring of the sensitive head.

His favorite feeling would always be tainted by this memory.

They touched him lightly, barely grazing his skin with their…hands, he assumed. Raj, with his belief in karma, allowed himself to enjoy the sensations, let himself go with the feelings. He would not hold back. He would let himself do what they bid, penitent and humble. If this was his penance, so be it.

He couldn't speak for fear of women in the room. He could moan, however.

* * *

Howard couldn't stop thinking.

This was payback. For years, he had treated women like meat, ogling them with and without their knowledge. He had objectified them and now it was his turn to be the object, the meat for the general populace to sample and defile.

He had never been so ashamed of himself in his whole life.

As they touched him, indiscriminately and (in his mind) casually, he began confessing his sins against women, general and personal. The first person that he mentally asked for forgiveness was his mother.

His mouth dried up as someone snapped a cock ring onto his flagging erection. As he hardened once again he started listing all the actresses that he had used for masturbatory fantasies over the years. Then the real girls, the women he knew, like Leslie and Penny. Penny. He owed her more apologies than anyone else.

He vowed to investigate twelve step programs for sexual addiction when they finally released him from his torment. Then he thought of his mother again, if only so he didn't disgrace himself and come without any stimulation.

A man had to have something to be proud of, didn't he? If for nothing else besides dick control.

* * *

Penny walked between the three men in their bonds, enjoying the show. Kurt was using Leonard as his personal pincushion, running a spiky Wartenburg pinwheel over his body. Currently, he was tormenting Leonard on his feet and she stood nearby for a moment, actually finding pleasure in watching him squirm in his ropes.

She took a step, turned, and saw Raj, spread-eagle on a large x-cross. He sagged in his bonds and she thought about saying something, then she noticed the beatific smile on his face. His lips parted, and then he moaned aloud as they touched him all over with feathers, of all things. She wondered what was going through his mind for a moment, and then she turned to watch them work on Howard.

She felt slightly sorry for Howard. His erection was painfully small and purpled from the entrapment of the double cock ring that separated his testicles from his erection. They had applied nipple clamps to his flat nipples and were tugging on them sporadically as they chatted over his chained body. She realized that this was actually too perfect. It made his torment even greater, to realize that he was nothing but a toy. God knew he had made her feel like nothing more than a life-size Barbie for too many years.

Sheila walked up and spoke softly into her ear and she had to agree. With a laugh that was sure to be recognized, she turned back to Leonard and grabbed his dick in her hand, snapping the cock ring around the base with the other. His head was dangling between his shoulders until he felt her hand on him, then he snapped to attention and tried to talk his way out of the situation, just as she thought he would.

"I won't tell anyone about any of this or this place. Please, just let me go. I promise, you can keep the other two. Just—please don't let that behemoth hurt me. He knows me. He's an asshole that would just love to make me feel the pain, I know it. We've had trouble in the past. Just—please—let me go. I'm begging you."

"You would abandon your friends to save your own hide?" She tried to disguise her voice and hoped that it was good enough to fool him.

Panic must have made him stupid. "Friends? Ha, they're more like minions. They listen to everything I say. Hell yes, to get away from Kurt I would do anything. Please let me go. I have money. My friend has money. I'm sure that if I called him he would pay you."

"Really." Her voice was dry and mirthless. "What's your friend's name?"

"Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper. He's loaded, really. He'll pay you to release me, just call him." He rattled off Sheldon's cell number.

"I'll get back to you." Yeah, she would.

She turned and went back to Sheldon's side, confident that he'd heard everything Leonard had said. By the look on his face, it was evident that he had.

* * *

Really, there was only so much sexplay that you could watch before it got boring. She had always wondered why they would have a game room in an S&M castle in the middle of LA—now she knew why.

She and Sheldon had wandered off after an hour, bored with the slow progression. The group of doms were taking their time with this bunch, intent on teaching them to be good subs—and if Sheila had her way, they would be. They found the game room and started playing Halo, even though it wasn't Wednesday. She killed him off; they rebooted the game and restarted again. The second time, she was distracted by the chanting that had grown louder in their absence and he killed her off.

She had to see what was going on. Had to.

She left Sheldon in front of the game console and hurried back to the main salon.

They had changed the boys around. Raj was on his hands and knees, servicing some woman in a black crotchless catsuit while another touched him intimately, urging him to continue. Howard was on his back, with one woman on his face and another on his crotch. She couldn't tell if he was getting lucky or not, but it was probably more action than he had seen since she had known him.

And Leonard.

Leonard was hogtied and suspended from the ceiling by his wrists and ankles. His ass was exposed to the crowd and he had a butt plug between his cheeks, a horsetail protruding from the end and brushing the ground as he swung back and forth. His eyes bulged out of his head as he swallowed hard around the cock buried in his mouth—and Kurt's hands cupped his head, moving him back and forth.

She ducked out of the room and pressed her hand to her chest. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, remembering…things best left forgotten, she thought to herself. She made her way back to the game room and sat down next to Sheldon on the comfortable sofa.

"Everything okay, Penny?" he asked absentmindedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, Moonpie. Play another round?"

She picked up her controller and they turned up the volume to mask the crowd in the other room.

* * *

Raj was forced to the floor and a soft, wet sheath enclosed his cock. He thought that it might be a woman from the pressure, but he couldn't be certain until she whispered in his ear. "I do think that you're the best of them all, Rajesh."

He knew that it was Leslie; he recognized her voice. He was good with women's voices because he could only listen to them. He knew that this had something to do with Sheldon, just because Leslie was here. And just as suddenly, he knew what he had to do to make it right.

* * *

Michelle came into the game room and interrupted them in the middle of a particularly vicious match. "Hey, that mute guy? He's nearly hysterical and keeps making pencil paper signs. Mean anything to you?"

They donned their masks and went into the main parlor.

As soon as Raj laid eyes on the new arrivals, he started sobbing and talking—aloud. It shocked Penny to her core.

"It was Leonard—he wanted to ruin Sheldon, thought that he was trying to steal Penny away from him, so he set him up. I tried to stop him! He kept trying things until they landed on the can opener; it was the only thing that made the machine react like it was a monopole. Howard kept on saying that it was for the greater good and Leonard—Leonard said that if we didn't do it, he was going to kill him. I didn't want Sheldon to die, so I went along with them. I never did it myself. Never never never. Sheldon, he's my friend, I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!"

Sheldon looked at the woman on top of him and she moved her mask, showing her face. He was shocked to see Leslie Winkle under the mask. "Now I've had all four of you," she said cryptically, and he grimaced.

"Indeed. When you have allowed him release, please let him go. He's given me all I need to know."

She nodded and reached under her to release the cock ring encircling Raj's erection. A few moments later, he groaned from deep in his gut and Leslie threw herself forward, hiding her own orgasm from view. Penny was thankful for that, at least. She had no idea that Leslie belonged to the Castle.

* * *

It seemed like hours. He had been spread open, fucked, violated, and now they wanted him to confess. He had so many things to confess to, there wasn't anywhere in particular that he could think of to start with.

The electric shock on his feet surprised him more than hurt him, but he yelled nonetheless. He was glad that his mouth wasn't stuffed full now so he could yell, could breathe, and could ignore the fact that it wasn't as distasteful as he thought it might be—once.

They touched him, repeatedly, everywhere there was a sensitive spot. His dick hurt from the pressure, his balls hurt, his shoulders hurt. The ropes chafed his skin. All he wanted to do was come, cry, and collapse, and not necessarily in that order.

Then they shocked him on the testicles and he began screaming his part in Sheldon's deception. He felt the pressure release and he was coming, coming hard, the ropes letting him swing and his joints spasming with the movement but thank God and his angels for the sweet release.

Leonard felt like he'd been reborn.

* * *

Howard heard Leonard yelling and began struggling to make his own statement. He kicked his feet and moved his mouth, but he couldn't dislodge the warm bodies from his own. He finally gave up. He could tell them anything they wanted to know later. Right now, he was getting lucky.

* * *

Sheldon had walked across the room and now joined the ring of people that stood around Leonard. They had moved on from gentle stimulus to more exotic than he had ever seen before—and hanging around with Howard, he had seen quite a bit through email. He had learned the hard way not to click through a link Howard forwarded and never did so with the speakers on…again. One time was enough.

They were using a violet wand, shocking him on various spots all over his body. They had blindfolded him again to maximize the surprise value. A cloaked figure stood at his 'feet', scissoring his fingers in Leonard's rectum, preparing him for what, Sheldon had no idea, until he turned around.

Penny stalked across the floor, a large black erection protruding from her groin. She shook the strap on dildo playfully at Sheldon, then moved up to stand in position as another 'slave' lubricated the thick rubber dong. She penetrated Leonard slowly and carefully, not touching him to minimize her exposure to the shock wand and grabbed the ropes to move him back and forth. When they shocked his scrotum, he screamed aloud. Penny arched her back and buried herself deep in his ass as she unsnapped the cock ring and semen jetted through the air as Leonard babbled incoherently.

Sheldon was slightly disturbed by the tears that were rolling down Leonard's face into his hair, the mucus bubbling at the edge of his nostril, and the drool that scattered with every word until he heard one that he never thought to hear from his roommate. Freakshow. He was calling him, Sheldon, a freakshow.

He saw Penny rip off the blindfold, then her mask and saw the horrified recognition in Leonard's eyes as he realized his mistakes, his sins exposed for the whole world to enjoy—and the one woman that he desperately wanted to impress.

Penny slammed Leonard against the dildo, forcing it deep inside him. "You know, Leonard, you don't have shit for memory, do you? Do you recall what I told you when you left for the North Pole?"

"Help Sheldon get his Nobel Prize."

She rammed him again. "How was fucking with a can opener helping him?"

"Penny, he was crazy! I don't care how often he's tested, the man is certifiably insane when he's failing and you know it."

She yanked the ropes and he winced. "I don't care, Leonard. I told you to help him, not ruin him."

"But, Penny," he whined.

She couldn't help it—the whining did it. She snapped. Gritting her teeth, she fucked into him with all her might, punctuating her words with every thrust. "I've. Told. You. More. Than. Once. Don't. Fuck. With. My. Moonpie! You fucked with him, so I'm fucking you."

Leonard let out a girlish whimper as he had another orgasm, his prostate unable to take the abuse that she was dishing out. He twitched weakly in his bonds as Penny slid out of him, unhooked the strap on, and let it fall to the ground. The room went silent at the heavy thud and she stared at Leonard, disgusted. She started to walk away, then turned, standing by Leonard's head. She looked down at Leonard with spite-filled eyes. "You have twenty-four hours to tell Gablehouser and Siebert the truth, or I will. Oh, and Leonard? You can forget about ever fucking me. Ever."

She ignored his pitiful cry as she walked past Sheldon, out of the room, and down the hall to the shower facilities. She just felt…dirty.


	5. Chapter 5

_Last chapter-thanks for the lovely ride, folks! I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did._

_D._

* * *

_The Aftermath_

Monday evening, Sheldon opened the door to his apartment and entered for the first time since _that_ night.

When they had returned to the apartment from the Castle, Penny took one look around and said, "Let's get out of here for the rest of the weekend." Sheldon had found himself inclined to agree.

They had both packed a bag, got in her car (and Sheldon deliberately ignored the 'check engine' light, just because he wanted to get away from conflict), and headed into the desert.

Palm Springs was beautiful, hot, and far enough from Pasadena and the Arctic Circle to let them both forget. It made it perfect.

They sat by a swimming pool (with Sheldon under an umbrella with zinc oxide covering two-thirds of his body), sipping drinks and relaxing.

Sheldon told her stories of his childhood, tales of his adventures in Europe, and the rest of the story concerning the Arctic expedition. Including how desperately he missed her, how he saved 'her' spot on the couch and forced Raj to continue sitting on the floor, how he read her emails repeatedly although he never answered even one. All the secrets that he thought he would keep forever he spilled to her; it cleansed him and gave him peace within, something that he needed badly and never realized.

She confessed as well. About her infatuation for Sheldon, how she tried unsuccessfully to hide her growing feelings for him. How she wished that he had showed his interest on that very first meeting. How she thought that they had wasted precious time before realizing what they were together. How much she relied on alcohol to make her feel better about herself and subsequently, make her feel better about her job, her relationships, and her failures.

They were in bed after a rousing bout of coitus when Sheldon decided to raise the question of their current relationship. "What is this, Penny?"

She raised her head, gasping for air. "What is what, Sheldon?"

"What are we doing? Is this just a dalliance for you, friends with benefits, or is it something more?"

She got up and paced the room, completely forgetting about her nudity. "When it all started, Sheldon, I was just pissed and wanted revenge. For _you_. I wasn't thinking of how Leonard treated me like I was some kind of empty-headed doll, just how badly he had treated you."

She turned back to face him and said, "Now? Now I can't be certain what this is. When I'm with you, I feel…complete. That's the only word I can think of to describe it, complete. I don't feel like I need to weigh every word or action, or to pre-think anything. If I want to do something I do it, say something I say it. There's no second-guessing myself because you take me for face value, not what I can do for you. I'm not just arm candy or a convenient date, but someone who is actually involved with you. When I was with Leonard, I felt like a trophy girlfriend. You would never treat me like that, would you?"

"No, I would not. You are not a possession, Penny."

She nodded. "I…care about you. More than I ever thought I would when we first met."

"That sounds like an emotional attachment, Penny. I have to confess, I feel the same way."

She waited and he continued. "I do not understand feelings, Penny. I have never been that good with human emotions or touch. I have always been apart from everyone and was glad to be that way, if only because it prevented me from suffering from close physical contact. It—it frightens me. Why would one want to experience such a loss of control? Then I met you."

He sat upright, the sheets pooling in his lap. "You have always challenged me to understand things that I had no desire to before. Feelings, touch, now coitus—but in doing so, you have changed me. You made me want to feel things and have since the day you moved in next door. You made me see a world of color when I was blind and ignorant of the possibilities. I had no idea that interpersonal relationships could be so rewarding and fulfilling."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He looked at her and gave her the same shy, little-boy-lost look that he had the day they met, standing by his whiteboard. "I would like to learn more about normality, Penny, from you. Only from you. Would you be my teacher?"

She laughed and crossed the room to sit in his lap. "Oh, honey, I don't know a thing about being normal. The only thing I know about is being me. I don't know if I want you messed up like that."

He combed his fingers through her hair. "I do not believe that you are dysfunctional, Penny. In fact, I believe that you are the most functional human being I know."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. "Let's see what happens with this. If we both decide that this paradise isn't optimal, we will part as friends."

"Do you mean paradigm?"

She gave him a gentle smile and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Paradise, paradigm—they're both the same when you're talking about us, aren't they?"

Later, as he watched her sleeping next to him with a sweet, contented smile on her face, he found that in this case, he would have to agree.

* * *

He opened the door to his apartment and entered to find his erstwhile friends inside, waiting for him.

Leonard jumped off the couch, and then winced at the sudden movements. As he rolled his shoulders and shifted in place, he asked, "Sheldon, where were you? We were worried. We even called your mother."

Sheldon refused to look at any of them as he shrugged off his jacket and placed it carefully on the back of the desk chair. "You did not have to do that, Leonard. If you would have looked in your room, there is a letter of intent for you to vacate within the next thirty days. Also, a document that nullifies the Friendship Clause of the Roommate Agreement. I would appreciate if you would have it signed and notarized and back to me forthwith."

"I found them. Sheldon, about the expedition…" Leonard started. Sheldon ignored him and picked up his bag. Leonard stepped forward and Sheldon neatly bypassed him to head down the hall.

He paused at the entrance to the hall, not turning. "Yes?"

"We went to Gablehouser and Siebert today. We laid it on the table and you've been exonerated. We—we told them how we tampered with the results of the experiment and…falsified the results." Leonard looked at the floor. "We told them about everything. How we misled you, how we encouraged you to write the email—all of it, Sheldon. All of it."

Sheldon turned to face them. "Well, that is heartening to hear. What made you decide to do that?"

They looked at one another and Raj was the one who spoke up. "We've been shown the error of our ways. Can we leave it at that?"

"No, Rajesh, I don't think that we can leave it at that. What massive occurrence would force the three of you to confess your betrayal to the department head and president of the university? It must have been life-changing for you to take such a drastic step." Sheldon carefully put his case on the floor and folded his hands behind his back, showing his intent to wait for the answer

"Oh, yeah, it was life changing. It was." Leonard twisted his fingers together and stared at his friend. "It was enough to make me rethink everything I've thought up to this point. I haven't been honest with myself about a lot of things and I haven't been fair to you, buddy. I've _never_ been fair to you and for that, I'm sorry."

Sheldon tried to feel bad for Leonard and found his heart had turned to stone where his friend was concerned. "Apology accepted, Leonard, but I fear that you have destroyed any chance at maintaining a friendship with me. I do not believe that I could ever trust you in the same way again."

"I don't blame you." He saw Sheldon's raised eyebrow and repeated, "No, I really don't blame you. I've never really been a very good friend to you, have I?"

"That is opinion, Leonard, not fact. As a scientist, I deal in facts, not opinion or conjecture."

"Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I think that I'm going back to Jersey. Maybe have my mom hook me up with some counseling. I've not been…the healthiest person in the world and I need to get some things right in my head. I've…discovered some things about myself recently that I need to understand and time and distance from who I was…well, I think that it would be best."

Sheldon inclined his head in agreement. "As do I."

"Will you need a new roommate, Sheldon?" He glanced at Raj and saw the eager anticipation on his face. It was true that at one time, he would have considered Raj to be the perfect replacement for Leonard, but he was weak-willed. Another consideration was the amount of time Howard would be spending there. He could tolerate small doses of the smarmy behavior, but day in and day out? It was repugnant, to say the least. He already had an idea, however, and he decided to voice it and damn the repercussions.

"I will ask Penny to move in here, Raj. Does that satisfy your insatiable curiosity?"

Leonard got a strange look on his face at the mention of his obsession. "Oh…oh, that's good. That's good for both of you."

"Yes. It _will_ be optimum for both of us. She will not have to live in a chaotic maelstrom or a cardboard box full of shoes, she will have regular meals instead of wine and free Wi-Fi, and I will have a friend who will watch my back."

Leonard had the grace to look ashamed. "Yeah, my room will be perfect for her. I'll be out by next weekend. I just have to tie up a few loose ends at the university before I resign my position."

"That fits with our timetable as well." He picked up his suitcase and headed to his room, done with that particular conversation. He ignored their reaction to his plural pronoun.

'Our timetable', Howard mouthed to Leonard.

Raj and Howard both shrugged. Who could tell with those two?

* * *

Penny bounced in the door with a smile on her face and saw them sitting there in the living room, not speaking, watching television. At her greeting, Leonard flinched, Howard looked miserable, and Raj looked serenely back at her. "So, how was your weekend?" she asked with a grin.

"Fine. Fine. It was fine," Leonard said, not looking at her. "How about yours?"

"Fun in the sun and sleeping in every day. It was…memorable." She got that secretive smile that Leonard recognized from her previous relationships and his heart cracked just a little bit more. Although he knew that he had killed any attraction she had for him, he still had a small grain of hope in his chest until that moment. Even after she had pegged him so violently Saturday night, he still thought that she was bluffing.

Sheldon came out of his room and joined her. She kissed him hello, wrapping herself around him and clinging like a limpet. She smiled up at him and said, "So, are you ready?"

"Yes, I do believe that I am, Penny." He untangled their limbs and reached for his jacket on the back of his desk chair.

"You are _not_ wearing that ratty thing. Here's one." She went around the couch and reached in the closet to grab his leather jacket.

Their faces were almost comical. Leonard's looked like a fish gasping for air, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly. Howard's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Raj just looked at them, stunned.

Sheldon, looking almost smug, shrugged on the jacket and winced at the residual pain in his shoulder. "Thank you, Penny. I cannot consider this an everyday jacket, however, because it lacks adequate insulation."

"Well, you're not wearing that old thing—it makes you look like somebody's grandfather. Let's go get some Chinese food, Shelly-bean. See you guys later." She grabbed his hand and they were out the door before the other three men could react.

The guys looked at one another, shock etched on their features. "Do you think…?" Leonard started.

"Naw, it couldn't have been him. Could it?" Howard said.

"Does it matter? We paid for our actions. We confessed. Actually, I'm surprised we were allowed to retain our jobs." Raj got to his feet and headed for the door. "As for me, I'm going home to think. I think that we _all_ need to think about what happened—not only this weekend, but in the Arctic as well."

"Yeah. I'm—I'm gonna head out too, Leonard. I'll see you tomorrow." Howard stood and he and Raj headed out of the door together.

He listened to their fading voices as they receded down the stairs.

"_You've been awful Zen about everything since Saturday, Raj."_

"_I had an epiphany, Howard. I think that we all did, in our way. I noticed you…."_

Leonard sat in the empty apartment, staring at the walls around him. How had it come to this? He had been popular for once, with friends surrounding him and infatuated with the hot blonde across the hall. Now he was alone, questioning his sexuality and his geeky roommate was out with the blonde.

It didn't seem fair. Then again, nothing was fair about love. He shook his head. _Life_ wasn't fair. God, this was maudlin. Maudlin and pathetic.

With a new sense of _fait accompli_, he decided to sleep. Sleep would be good. Maybe he could dream of a better future, without all the ambiguity and questions. And the thought that Sheldon bested him once again, this time getting the girl.


End file.
